Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
The Lost Toys
One of the things you quickly learn as a Dad is the importance of various toys in your children's lives. Losing one, or indeed any part of it, can be as big as trauma as most children have experienced.
Think how you'd feel if your favourite watch, your wallet or a childhood memento went missing. or was stolen and you get the point.
Earlier this week, we journeyed to Brighton for a couple of days. We stayed in a lovely boutique hotel called The White House and blagged some free passes to the Sealife Centre.
A couple of hours beforehand, Ceri had bought a new toy for Schmoo, a cute black cat, which she was instantly taken with.
We headed for the Aquarium and were about halfway round, when I realised that the cat had vanished. I hurriedly retraced steps through the Centre but to no avail. No-one had handed it in at reception and the coffee stand man could only point us in the direction of a tiny, unlikely-looking feeding point.
A similar blank was drawn there, until a kid piped up: "Oh, was it a black toy? I saw it on a table over here."
He led us to said table, at which four foreign students were sitting. "It was this table," confirmed the kid, and his mum confirmed this from her own vantage point.
There was nothing there, though. "I'm sure it was here," said the boy. Suddenly, one of the students reached into his zipped-up rucksack, sitting on the floor, and pulled out the toy.
We were to glad to see it, that our dismay at someone trying to pocket what was clearly a child's toy was tempered slightly. The cheek of it - it's a kid's toy, not a student's plaything. What was he going to do? Perform experiments on it.
Clearly, we were glad to get the cat back, but irritated beyond belief by the actions of an unthinking youth.
Oh, and we gave the other kid a couple of quid, as a reward/thank you. He looked well chuffed!
Think how you'd feel if your favourite watch, your wallet or a childhood memento went missing. or was stolen and you get the point.
Earlier this week, we journeyed to Brighton for a couple of days. We stayed in a lovely boutique hotel called The White House and blagged some free passes to the Sealife Centre.
A couple of hours beforehand, Ceri had bought a new toy for Schmoo, a cute black cat, which she was instantly taken with.
We headed for the Aquarium and were about halfway round, when I realised that the cat had vanished. I hurriedly retraced steps through the Centre but to no avail. No-one had handed it in at reception and the coffee stand man could only point us in the direction of a tiny, unlikely-looking feeding point.
A similar blank was drawn there, until a kid piped up: "Oh, was it a black toy? I saw it on a table over here."
He led us to said table, at which four foreign students were sitting. "It was this table," confirmed the kid, and his mum confirmed this from her own vantage point.
There was nothing there, though. "I'm sure it was here," said the boy. Suddenly, one of the students reached into his zipped-up rucksack, sitting on the floor, and pulled out the toy.
We were to glad to see it, that our dismay at someone trying to pocket what was clearly a child's toy was tempered slightly. The cheek of it - it's a kid's toy, not a student's plaything. What was he going to do? Perform experiments on it.
Clearly, we were glad to get the cat back, but irritated beyond belief by the actions of an unthinking youth.
Oh, and we gave the other kid a couple of quid, as a reward/thank you. He looked well chuffed!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Words start to come easy...
Schmoo is so funny at the moment. She's understanding more and more of what we say to her and with hilarious results.
Although she's walking very confidently now, she still, inevitably, has a habit of putting random things in her mouth that she has found on the floor.
In an effort to stop our fingers getting scythed off by her mini fangs, we now ask her: "What's in that mouthy?" Her response is to open her mouth up as wide as she can manage and turn and laugh at us, going "Aaaah!"
She's also beginning to say more and more words. "Cheese" and "cat" are the latest ones, both of which are hilarious.
On the debit side, currently, her teeth are still bothering her and she's waking up at ridiculous o'clock nearly every morning. Starting the day at 5.30am is not the easiest in the world - shattered doesn't cover it and I don't even have to look after her every day like Ceri!
Although she's walking very confidently now, she still, inevitably, has a habit of putting random things in her mouth that she has found on the floor.
In an effort to stop our fingers getting scythed off by her mini fangs, we now ask her: "What's in that mouthy?" Her response is to open her mouth up as wide as she can manage and turn and laugh at us, going "Aaaah!"
She's also beginning to say more and more words. "Cheese" and "cat" are the latest ones, both of which are hilarious.
On the debit side, currently, her teeth are still bothering her and she's waking up at ridiculous o'clock nearly every morning. Starting the day at 5.30am is not the easiest in the world - shattered doesn't cover it and I don't even have to look after her every day like Ceri!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Friday, April 06, 2007
Strong feelings
I suppose you never really know how strong your feelings are for your offspring, until someone challenges them in some way.
Earlier this week's B's mum was called in by the nursery for a chat. It's one of those things you hear about, but never imagine it will happen in connection with your child. Anyway, B is meant to be starting school in September, even though she will only just be 4, such is the dis/advantage of being born in August.
Anyway, the nursery emphasised how lovely B is and what a great personality she has, how intelligent she is, and what a great leader she is, before turning round and saying that they don't think she should start school in September.
Apparently, she is too wilful and won't do what she's told. She only takes part in activities that she wants to, rather than the ones that the nursery want and consequently the staff haven't been able to carry out a proper assessment on her literacy, etc.
Add to that, they don't think she is mature enough to cope with not getting her way all the time: ie, if another child takes over, or calls her names.
Now, I accept the B is many, if not all of those things above, but the thing that amazes me is that this nursery find it surprising that children who are going to school aren't totally rounded people. B isn't 4 till August, for goodness sake.
Equally, they said they found her a real challenge and found it difficult when she plays one of the teachers off against the other. That made me laugh, for starters. A group of trained, professional child carers, being outwitted by a 3 and a half year old. The thing is, though, it feel as if it's a direct attack on you as a person and parent, if they make these sort of claims.
And what about kids who never go to a nursery before they start school? Do they go in without an assessment? My daughter, for better or worse, is an intelligent, sensitive little girl, who isn't a perfect yet. The whole point of school, among other things, is education of a worldly kind, not just academic.
The law of the playground is something you only learn when you get there. You can prepare kids for it. Some revel in it, some find it more difficult, but whoever you are, you get out of the other side a different and better person, usually.
B reminds me so much of myself at the same sort of age. Wilful and not prone to doing things she find boring. God knows, she'll have to do enough boring things later in her life - let her enjoy the interesting stuff now!
Earlier this week's B's mum was called in by the nursery for a chat. It's one of those things you hear about, but never imagine it will happen in connection with your child. Anyway, B is meant to be starting school in September, even though she will only just be 4, such is the dis/advantage of being born in August.
Anyway, the nursery emphasised how lovely B is and what a great personality she has, how intelligent she is, and what a great leader she is, before turning round and saying that they don't think she should start school in September.
Apparently, she is too wilful and won't do what she's told. She only takes part in activities that she wants to, rather than the ones that the nursery want and consequently the staff haven't been able to carry out a proper assessment on her literacy, etc.
Add to that, they don't think she is mature enough to cope with not getting her way all the time: ie, if another child takes over, or calls her names.
Now, I accept the B is many, if not all of those things above, but the thing that amazes me is that this nursery find it surprising that children who are going to school aren't totally rounded people. B isn't 4 till August, for goodness sake.
Equally, they said they found her a real challenge and found it difficult when she plays one of the teachers off against the other. That made me laugh, for starters. A group of trained, professional child carers, being outwitted by a 3 and a half year old. The thing is, though, it feel as if it's a direct attack on you as a person and parent, if they make these sort of claims.
And what about kids who never go to a nursery before they start school? Do they go in without an assessment? My daughter, for better or worse, is an intelligent, sensitive little girl, who isn't a perfect yet. The whole point of school, among other things, is education of a worldly kind, not just academic.
The law of the playground is something you only learn when you get there. You can prepare kids for it. Some revel in it, some find it more difficult, but whoever you are, you get out of the other side a different and better person, usually.
B reminds me so much of myself at the same sort of age. Wilful and not prone to doing things she find boring. God knows, she'll have to do enough boring things later in her life - let her enjoy the interesting stuff now!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Alma Pater
Dads are strange things, aren't they? I've been in the fortunate, or unfortunate depending on how you look at it, situation of having two for most of my life.
My mum and dad (biological) separated when I was roughly 4 and both remarried. I was brought up by my mum and stepdad (who I called Dad), while seeing my dad and stepmum on alternate weekends for most of my childhood.
I came to look on my stepdad as my real dad (because he was there most of the time) and he was very good to me, taking me on as his own. Meanwhile, the relationship with my real dad became strained and more and more distant. I came to look upon him in a more avuncular way, rather than paternal and I think, especially as I grew up, our similarities managed to drive us further apart, rather than closer together.
My stepdad died, sadly, almost two years ago, after a long period of ill-health, so the only father figure in my life now, is my dad. I have also, in recent years, left my first wife and settled down with my current partner, with who I have Schmoo.
That has been the biggest factor in rekindling my relationship with my Dad. We never stopped talking, but we could go months without proper contact and he frustrated me no end.
Now C's opinion of him and my stepmum is far higher than my ex-wife's ever was. I live closer to them than ever before and, having talked things through with my counsellor, I realised that I needed to make an effort to, at least, see if I could improve things.
Well, things had been better for a while, and then I told him about my recent bout of depression and the floodgates have opened. We've been in touch more in the last few weeks than we have (almost) in the last 6 months.
Yes, he still annoys me and, yes, I know we still have a long way to go, but things are definitely on the mend.
Anyway, the point of all this is because it taps in so closely to my relationships with Schmoo and B. I know that at times, my daughters will become intensely frustrated and pissed off with me. Equally, I hope I make it clear to them that they can come to me, whatever the problem or request.
Familial relationships are never easy, I know, probably because blood means that characteristics are shared and these cause friction, rather than harmony most of the time. But I know I want things to be easier for my kids with me than they have been for me with my mum and dad.
Here's hoping...
My mum and dad (biological) separated when I was roughly 4 and both remarried. I was brought up by my mum and stepdad (who I called Dad), while seeing my dad and stepmum on alternate weekends for most of my childhood.
I came to look on my stepdad as my real dad (because he was there most of the time) and he was very good to me, taking me on as his own. Meanwhile, the relationship with my real dad became strained and more and more distant. I came to look upon him in a more avuncular way, rather than paternal and I think, especially as I grew up, our similarities managed to drive us further apart, rather than closer together.
My stepdad died, sadly, almost two years ago, after a long period of ill-health, so the only father figure in my life now, is my dad. I have also, in recent years, left my first wife and settled down with my current partner, with who I have Schmoo.
That has been the biggest factor in rekindling my relationship with my Dad. We never stopped talking, but we could go months without proper contact and he frustrated me no end.
Now C's opinion of him and my stepmum is far higher than my ex-wife's ever was. I live closer to them than ever before and, having talked things through with my counsellor, I realised that I needed to make an effort to, at least, see if I could improve things.
Well, things had been better for a while, and then I told him about my recent bout of depression and the floodgates have opened. We've been in touch more in the last few weeks than we have (almost) in the last 6 months.
Yes, he still annoys me and, yes, I know we still have a long way to go, but things are definitely on the mend.
Anyway, the point of all this is because it taps in so closely to my relationships with Schmoo and B. I know that at times, my daughters will become intensely frustrated and pissed off with me. Equally, I hope I make it clear to them that they can come to me, whatever the problem or request.
Familial relationships are never easy, I know, probably because blood means that characteristics are shared and these cause friction, rather than harmony most of the time. But I know I want things to be easier for my kids with me than they have been for me with my mum and dad.
Here's hoping...
Friday, March 30, 2007
Now we are one...
I truly can't believe how quickly time moves on. This time last year C was in labour and we were getting ready to welcome a new person into the world.
Now, almost 12 months later, Schmoo is walking, babbling, eating like a trooper and generally causing mayhem and laughter wherever she goes.
She truly does light up out lives - thank you!
Now, almost 12 months later, Schmoo is walking, babbling, eating like a trooper and generally causing mayhem and laughter wherever she goes.
She truly does light up out lives - thank you!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Smile...
There's something about Schmoo's smile that makes all your cares disappear. No matter how blue I'm feeling, if I get a smile from her, its lifts the mood.
I've been feeling pretty low recently, so much so that I've been signed off work for a couple of weeks. Fortunately, I know I can count on the smile and laughter of Schmoo. Now powering around the room, taking more and more steps every day, she's is a total delight.
C & I are amazed sometimes at how happy she is, nearly all the time. Whether it's wanting to read her favourite books, or walking up and down the landing with her truck, she makes the world light up around her.
Fortunately, this proves a welcome relief from feelings of loneliness and depression that I've been experiencing recently.
People ask you what causes it - if only it was that easy to pinpoint. I know there are a combination of factors, but nothing really stands out. Depression seems to bring on some sort of paralysis... nothing that you normally do day-to-day gets done, because you don't want to. You eat crap, you feel crap and you think everyone around you is crap, regardless of how supportive they're being.
Thank goodness there's always a smile to perk me up slightly
I've been feeling pretty low recently, so much so that I've been signed off work for a couple of weeks. Fortunately, I know I can count on the smile and laughter of Schmoo. Now powering around the room, taking more and more steps every day, she's is a total delight.
C & I are amazed sometimes at how happy she is, nearly all the time. Whether it's wanting to read her favourite books, or walking up and down the landing with her truck, she makes the world light up around her.
Fortunately, this proves a welcome relief from feelings of loneliness and depression that I've been experiencing recently.
People ask you what causes it - if only it was that easy to pinpoint. I know there are a combination of factors, but nothing really stands out. Depression seems to bring on some sort of paralysis... nothing that you normally do day-to-day gets done, because you don't want to. You eat crap, you feel crap and you think everyone around you is crap, regardless of how supportive they're being.
Thank goodness there's always a smile to perk me up slightly
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Time, time, time
Sang Simon and Garfunkel (and sadly, The Bangles) - although I think they were referring to it in a slightly more esoteric sense, rather than the stuff that I never have!
I know children take over your life, but it's ridiculous sometimes! I look around and see countless things that 'need doing' - that dread phrase that basically means you're a slack arse!
From cleaning windows, to fixing the blind, via downloading camcorder footage (and editing) and backing up the laptop (which is pretty crucial). And that doesn't even count all the boring everyday things, such as washing, ironing, hoovering, cooking Schmoo food, etc.
I know I read the paper (in brief) and try to catch up on my two monthly magazines I subscribe to, but seriously, and I know C would agree, personal time is so limited... If it amounts to any more than 30 minutes a day, I'd be surprised,
Who'd have kids, eh? Well, I would!
I know children take over your life, but it's ridiculous sometimes! I look around and see countless things that 'need doing' - that dread phrase that basically means you're a slack arse!
From cleaning windows, to fixing the blind, via downloading camcorder footage (and editing) and backing up the laptop (which is pretty crucial). And that doesn't even count all the boring everyday things, such as washing, ironing, hoovering, cooking Schmoo food, etc.
I know I read the paper (in brief) and try to catch up on my two monthly magazines I subscribe to, but seriously, and I know C would agree, personal time is so limited... If it amounts to any more than 30 minutes a day, I'd be surprised,
Who'd have kids, eh? Well, I would!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
First steps... woohoo!
Forget all the frustration and worrying if you're a good dad, or not. Forget the fact that she always wants to go to Mummy before Daddy.
No matter how little sleep you get, or how clingy your children are when you want to do something that you consider is important, there's nothing that brings a smile to the face more than a milestone.
Yesterday, even though she didn't realise she did it, Ava took her first unaided steps! I picker her up to move her from one side of the room to another and put her down on her feet and she casually took 3-4 steps forward without me holding on, before realising that she was going solo. She promptly plopped onto her bum!
She did it again later, but neither Ceri or I think she realised the scale of her achievement, which I guess is quite cool. Even though we were there cheering and clapping!
It reminds me of when I first learned to ride a bike - you're pedalling away furiously with mum or dad running along next to you, holding onto the bike, or so you think. Then you take a quick peek to the left and realise you're on your own. There's that brief feeling of "wow, I'm riding a bike on my own!", before you career violently off to the right into a neighbour's privet hedge!
More frustratingly, it then seems to take loads of attempts to do it again, even though you know you can do it. I guess that's the sort of thing that spurs us on!
No matter how little sleep you get, or how clingy your children are when you want to do something that you consider is important, there's nothing that brings a smile to the face more than a milestone.
Yesterday, even though she didn't realise she did it, Ava took her first unaided steps! I picker her up to move her from one side of the room to another and put her down on her feet and she casually took 3-4 steps forward without me holding on, before realising that she was going solo. She promptly plopped onto her bum!
She did it again later, but neither Ceri or I think she realised the scale of her achievement, which I guess is quite cool. Even though we were there cheering and clapping!
It reminds me of when I first learned to ride a bike - you're pedalling away furiously with mum or dad running along next to you, holding onto the bike, or so you think. Then you take a quick peek to the left and realise you're on your own. There's that brief feeling of "wow, I'm riding a bike on my own!", before you career violently off to the right into a neighbour's privet hedge!
More frustratingly, it then seems to take loads of attempts to do it again, even though you know you can do it. I guess that's the sort of thing that spurs us on!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Overnight stays
MY three-year-old stayed the night last night and, although it's great fun when she spends Saturday night here, it's never quite the picnic it should be.
She's very strong-willed, although incredibly loving and caring, but that pair make for a tricky concoction. Amazingly, given that Schmoo didn't settle till 9pm, 3YO stayed asleep the entire night and didn's stir. Thank goodness.
3YO didn't want to go to see Chicken Little (probably a wise move) at Kids Club on Sat, so we spent the day around CP. We checked out the aquarium shop, which has some wicked snakes, lizards and fish for sale. Always interesting for a young one - if only to see different wildlife up close, I think.
I guess, I find the most difficult thing, having almost zero money and being constantly tired, and not mentally alert. For someone who prides themselves on having a quick brain and sharp reflexes, I feel as dull as a 20-year-old razor blade!
She's very strong-willed, although incredibly loving and caring, but that pair make for a tricky concoction. Amazingly, given that Schmoo didn't settle till 9pm, 3YO stayed asleep the entire night and didn's stir. Thank goodness.
3YO didn't want to go to see Chicken Little (probably a wise move) at Kids Club on Sat, so we spent the day around CP. We checked out the aquarium shop, which has some wicked snakes, lizards and fish for sale. Always interesting for a young one - if only to see different wildlife up close, I think.
I guess, I find the most difficult thing, having almost zero money and being constantly tired, and not mentally alert. For someone who prides themselves on having a quick brain and sharp reflexes, I feel as dull as a 20-year-old razor blade!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Where does the time go?
Sometimes I wonder what I did with my life before I had kids. The weekends always seemed to stretch out like a never-ending chasm, to be filled with drinking wine, cooking lovely food and watching TV or going to the movies.
Now, I occasionally get to cook lovely food, drink wine as long as it's not too much, or else I'll have a stinking hangover, never go to the cinema, unless it's with my three-year-old (The Wild, Flushed Away) and watch any TV I can get to. I watch Match Of The Day on Sunday, if I'm lucky courtesy of Sky+
In fact, I watch most of my favourite TV (actually we do), by virtue of Sky+ - I don't think I watch anything at the time it's actually broadcast, apart from the occasional news bulletin. Decidedly odd. What happened to watercooler TV? I think I've had about one conversation about last night's TV in the past 6 months, and that was about, dare I say it, Celeb Big Brother.
It's not as if we don't do things with Ava - more that everything has to be structured around her and when she eats. If we go shopping in town, we end up being at Oxford Circus at 12.15, so we can go to Mamas & Papas cafe. Ah, those halcyon days of suddenly grabbing something at 2.30pm and necking a bottle of wine.
If it sounds like I'm moaning, far from it. My children are a delight - I suppose I sometimes marvel at what my life used to be like. Fulfilment is guaranteed now!
Now, I occasionally get to cook lovely food, drink wine as long as it's not too much, or else I'll have a stinking hangover, never go to the cinema, unless it's with my three-year-old (The Wild, Flushed Away) and watch any TV I can get to. I watch Match Of The Day on Sunday, if I'm lucky courtesy of Sky+
In fact, I watch most of my favourite TV (actually we do), by virtue of Sky+ - I don't think I watch anything at the time it's actually broadcast, apart from the occasional news bulletin. Decidedly odd. What happened to watercooler TV? I think I've had about one conversation about last night's TV in the past 6 months, and that was about, dare I say it, Celeb Big Brother.
It's not as if we don't do things with Ava - more that everything has to be structured around her and when she eats. If we go shopping in town, we end up being at Oxford Circus at 12.15, so we can go to Mamas & Papas cafe. Ah, those halcyon days of suddenly grabbing something at 2.30pm and necking a bottle of wine.
If it sounds like I'm moaning, far from it. My children are a delight - I suppose I sometimes marvel at what my life used to be like. Fulfilment is guaranteed now!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
So, I'm a dad - I guess that's pretty obvious from the title of this blog. I have two daughters - one is currently three-and-a-half and I see her at weekends, while the other is ten months and I see her every day, as we all live together.
The idea behind this blog is twofold:
1) To enable and encourage me to write regularly and not about things that I write every day at work. Although it might sound fun to tell people what you think of Sienna Miller's latest red carpet outfit, believe me, it gets boring!
2) Being a dad is not talked about that much. Everyone, probably naturally, concentrates on the mum's role in bringing up baby, as it were. Poor old dad is usually left to bring home enough money to buy weekly groceries and fund the endless supply of nappies, clothes and toys, to name but a few things. I want to try and redress that balance in somme small way, but posting my musings about being a good, hopefully, dad.
I probably should have started this a year or so ago, as I'll have nothing to say about the early months, but hey, both of my girls have a lot of years to go and a lot trials and tribulations to go through. I'm sure there'll still be plenty to comment about.
That's it for the moment - I'll be back with something new soon!
The idea behind this blog is twofold:
1) To enable and encourage me to write regularly and not about things that I write every day at work. Although it might sound fun to tell people what you think of Sienna Miller's latest red carpet outfit, believe me, it gets boring!
2) Being a dad is not talked about that much. Everyone, probably naturally, concentrates on the mum's role in bringing up baby, as it were. Poor old dad is usually left to bring home enough money to buy weekly groceries and fund the endless supply of nappies, clothes and toys, to name but a few things. I want to try and redress that balance in somme small way, but posting my musings about being a good, hopefully, dad.
I probably should have started this a year or so ago, as I'll have nothing to say about the early months, but hey, both of my girls have a lot of years to go and a lot trials and tribulations to go through. I'm sure there'll still be plenty to comment about.
That's it for the moment - I'll be back with something new soon!
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